Farewell, my Cookie-Pie

Cookie Sleeping 2009

Cookie passed away last night.  My poor baby.  She was so sick and her little body just gave out.  I am really sad and miss her so much. I keep thinking that if I hadn't been away for so long she might have had a chance.  When she became ill my Mom didn't have any way of knowing.  Perhaps if I had come home earlier? I don't know.  I keep second guessing things...if I did this, if I did that...I don't know.  I can't always fix things and this feeling of helplessness is overwhelming.

The worst part of this is that I tried to dig a grave in the yard for her and the ground is so frozen I couldn't do it.  I had to wrap her up, put her in a box, and put her in the trash can in the back yard.  Like garbage.

I could just die right now.